a sad one.

This is a poem written by my good and close friend, Kris. Please enjoy.

xx A

"I’m absolutely content and completely torn with how things are going in my life.

It is beautiful yet heartbreaking.

I have an open mind, yet I’m not ready to move on.

My heart feels warm and gooey, yet there’s a burning hole inside.

I am peaceful despite the chaos, but I am also stressed about the unknown.

Time is running out, yet I have all the time in the world.

I’m so excited for my future, yet I’m so fearful for it to become a reality.

I love my friends

To the ends of the earth.

They bring out the best parts of me.

Sides I didn’t know I had.

They changed my life,

Without knowing.

But I hate that they must go.

I will count down the days until they return.

I hope they find what they’re looking for out there.

I hope the world is good to them.

None of us knew

How much this would hurt.

Because our love always covered

Anything that hurt.

So much that now,

It’s the very thing that hurts to think about.

My mind wanders away and questions my actions.

Was I enough

But then,

From that question

I know he wasn’t enough.

I guess that he just wasn’t meant for me.

I thought I did everything right this time.

I was careful,

And still

I’m clumsy.

It went wrong when it should’ve went right.

Somehow I felt it was my last chance at love..

Foolish

To think I had a say in that plan.

When the time is right

Sparks will fly

And the puzzle pieces will connect.

Someday it will make sense.

Until then I will tell myself

That it doesn’t hurt.

I must bleed with forgiveness,

And beam with grace.

For now,

It’s time for me,

Myself, and I.

But I don’t know how to make myself a priority.

That’s something I’ve thoroughly avoided,

In fear of losing people.

If I don’t put them first, they won’t know I love them.

I wish I treated myself that way.

If only I had the dedication

To be forgiving

Towards myself.

Maybe I wouldn’t be writing this.

I’ve never been more confused and content at the same exact time.

I feel both with equal parts of my heart.

I feel whole,

Then I feel empty.

I’m in between seasons.

Awkward.

Unpredictable.

People use those words to describe me.

I’m at a bittersweet ending.

One I didn’t chose.

But I’m also at a very hopeful beginning,

One that I must think about myself, my dreams, my purpose.

That makes me feel selfish.

But I guess it’s gonna happen eventually.

Whether I’m ready or not.

I’ll meet new people,

I’ll remember old friends

Hoping they remember me too.

But when they don’t, I will still pray for the best.

I will be okay.

Life won’t be the same way forever.

Everything I’ve ever known is going away,

And there’s nothing I can do.

Maybe that’s what hurts the most,

That I have no control.

I have no say.

It is what it is.

Good or bad.

That’s not what I’m used to,

So it scares me.

Does it scare you?

I hope it does.

If not,

I guess I’m alone."

#poetry